


Can You Stand The Heat

by Sirenacci



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Murder, Blood and Violence, Fluff and Angst, Gore, Hurt, M/M, More tags to be added, Near Death Experiences, Plot Twists, Protective Freddie, Secrets, alternate!John, multiple POVs, protective roger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-07 03:31:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19076602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirenacci/pseuds/Sirenacci
Summary: To quell his 'illness' that only manifests when he's terrified, John is forced to take his pills which also acts as a sedative. He keeps all the people around him in the dark about his condition and intends to keep it that way for the rest of his life. So what happens when he runs out of them and Queen's final performance for their tour is up next?





	Can You Stand The Heat

**Author's Note:**

> Alright! Here's the final version that I like more. Things will probably be more tense and orderly in a way. Hope you guys enjoy reading it!

John’s POV

I closed my eyes and felt my breathing grew heavy and my heart beat faster at the vibrations that could be felt throughout the wooden flooring due to the shrieks and chants the audience would yell out audible in our dressing room located not that far from the stage. I thought after all these years of touring and doing these shows in front of the live audience would’ve made me less anxious about performing but it couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Everything seemed hectic with the crew moving back and forth in whatever direction, making keeping track of everything seemingly impossible.

I looked down at my hand and found that it was quivering beyond my control with my palms had turned into a pale colour, paler than anything I had ever seen before. My veins now prominently shown with its contrasting purplish blue hue against its hue. The quivering wouldn’t stop no matter what I attempted to do and drove me to take out an opaque, black glass bottle which was supposed to contain a sedative pill that I took regularly whenever I was in a dire state such as this one. Though I had procured these pills unethically through a connection of mine, I couldn’t care less about the risks that it entailed, as long as I could subside whatever it is that was plaguing me.

A cold sweat trickled down my back the moment I couldn’t hear the rattling echoes that I normally hear if I were to shake the container. I unscrewed the lid and tilted it to a certain angle to attempt to get a few pills out, refusing to believe that I had run out of them. Reality came crashing down on me like the ocean waves breaking apart at the contact of the large barriers in its way, overwhelming and suffocating. It was almost in an instant that I felt my surroundings spin all around me, confusion and anxiousness arising from the recent stress I was unwillingly subjected to.

I felt a burning sensation in the middle of my torso that had blossomed and spread throughout my entire chest before diffusing as fast as it came. This somehow made my breathing grew agonisingly with each passing second, the blossoming pain coming and going in an uncomfortable harmony with each lungful of air I took. My hand wouldn’t stop trembling and eventually resulted in me losing my steady grip on the glass container, dropping it to the floor and causing it to shatter into miniscule fragments.

It was almost as if time stood still when everyone halted whatever it is they were doing and went to saw what had happened, gawking at the fragments like it was some sort of circus act. My head started to feel lighter than a feather and my face heating up with my current situation being the unwilling centre of attention thus being put through an awkward position. I mumbled an apology and crouched down from my seat to pick up the remnants of the glass bottle when out of the blue, another pair of hands reached out and clutched mine.

“Is everything alright, darling? Are you injured?” Freddie inquired in a startled tone while his hands kept their gentle hold on mine and turning it ever so slightly to check if they were wounded. I looked up to meet his eyes filled with worry and felt something pull on my heartstrings, most likely to be a sense of guilt towards him.

As much as I wanted to tell him that I was feeling faintly ill, I didn’t have the resolution to tell him so and add more to his worries. There was a lot going on right now and an anxious Freddie Mercury isn’t the best thing to have when you’re about to go and perform in front of a live audience.

“I-It’s n-no, I’m alright. I guess I’m just nervous wreck.” I stumbled on my words and answered him, hoping that he wouldn’t ask me anything further. 

“Don’t worry dear, I understand, everyone gets nervous sometimes. Come on, we can get someone to clean up those shards later, let’s just focus on giving our best performance this evening. It’s our final concert of this tour of after all.” He attempted to reassure me whilst getting me out of my seat.

“Y-Yeah, you’re right. I-I’m sorry, I guess that I couldn’t manage to handle it this time w-without my pills. I-I’ve ran out of them, I think.” I nervously told him and let out a strained giggle, trying my best to give him an answer that he would be satisfied with. This however, backfired on me for now, a combination of surprised, saddened and concerned emotions were all over his face.

“Deaky, how long have you been using them?” He slowly questioned in a serious and alarmed tone, his touch never leaving my hands and instead clutching them tighter. What he must’ve thought that by what I meant by pills were recreational drugs instead of medicinal ones. Just as I was about to correct him, Roger entered the room and leaned his body on the doorframe, clutching his drumsticks on one hand and stabilising his frame with his other.

“Hey, we’re supposed to go up there right now so get your arses here right now. We’ve got some people to entertain tonight!” He enthusiastically said through his high pitched and raspy voice, oblivious to the events that had transpired. His sudden announcement was a brief moment of relief since I didn’t have to explain myself to him. I pulled my hand back from his touch to get myself a sip of my orange juice I had placed in front of me. I thought I was going to drop the glass yet again but managed to clutch my other arm steady till I could almost feel my bloodstream stopping while I felt the cold, zesty liquid run down my throat.

“I’ll be there soon.” I responded to him in a louder voice and was about to leave in his direction when suddenly, I felt a grip on my arm.

“John, we really need to talk. Please, I’m worried about you.” Freddie said in a stern tone that caught me off guard because of how rare he would address people with that manner.

“Not right now, Fred. Roger and Brian are waiting for us, maybe later yeah?” I told him and released my arm from his grasp to see him look at me with sadness and hurt in his eyes. I felt something tug at my chest at the sight of his reddening eyes but I couldn’t bear to tell him or anyone the truth when even I don’t understand what was wrong with myself.

I turned my head in the other direction and exited the room towards a broader area where the noise started to hurt my ears with how deafening it was. The pain never parted ways from me and instead, grew more intense and graduated from being just a slight discomfort to an aching feeling. It felt as though I was being slowly burnt from the inside out and was about to explode anytime like a ticking time bomb, but I knew I couldn’t stop here, I have to go on to perform. It managed to dissipate yet again eventually and I managed to walk towards the backstage area where Brian was tuning his guitar and Roger getting himself pumped up.

“You guys are on in five!” A man yelled from the corner of the space before returning to do his work. I sauntered towards my bass to grab it, hoping that I could play it despite my trembling hands but tripped on a large wire. Just when I mentally prepared myself for the impact of the cold floor, Brian had extended his arms just in time to catch me before any damage to my body was done and I ended up in his embrace. 

“John! Hey, are you alright mate?” Brian inquired while he positioned me so that I could get back on my feet, my arms clutching his tightly so that the both of us wouldn’t fall.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you.” I responded and got myself off him while trying to balance myself properly because of the odd feeling that the world was spinning rapidly all around me.

“That was quite the slip, Deaks. Seriously, what was that cord doing there!? It’s a safety hazard!” Roger stated harshly and came to our direction, worry evident in his eyes. “You okay?”

“D-Don’t worry, I-I’m fine now.” I dismissed his concerns. I knew that amongst the three of them, Roger and Freddie were tied in terms of how over the top they would react when I told them of me experiencing any sort of discomfort in the slightest bit. Since I’ve first joined them up until this point, they would continuously treat me as though I was a child in need of protecting from the world around me, which could get irritating very quickly though I appreciate their concerns.

“Why isn’t anyone concerned about this safety hazard in the middle of the way?! People could easily trip and get injured from these easily! Such poor management!” He folded his arms and angrily asserted, furrowing his brows while biting his lower lip in frustration. “And where even is Freddie? What the hell is taking him so long?”

“I’m sure he’ll be here anytime soon, Rog. Just take a breather.” Brian attempted to calm his anger down. His tantrums would sometimes be excessive and destructive, especially when he is under the influence of alcohol.

“Yeah, R-Roger, l-let’s just calm down.”

“Calm down!? How can I be calm when you were nearly injured, Deaks!? Oh god knows what I’ll do when anyone or anything dares to harm you!” His words rang inside my head as if it were pounding it mercilessly from all directions. Everyone knew that I had a lower pain tolerance than all of them so it explained his worries and concerns brilliantly.

“Roger, please calm down. I-I’m fine, really.” I responded and gave him a smile despite knowing that I was going to get my share of bad fortune later on by lying to him but right now, it wasn’t preferable to be hearing his complaints and fretfulness so I had to say that in order to get him to silence himself.

“Are you sure? Alright then, if you say so.” His tone had softened, an indication that his bad temper had boiled down the moment he listened to me.

“Come on, let’s get on stage. The crowd’s waiting, Freddie can catch up later on.” Brian told the both of us and went towards the stage where I heard the audience shriek loudly the moment he stepped foot onto the rostrum. Roger had gave my shoulder a slight nudge before he went ahead, receiving a booming greeting from the spectators as well.

Just as I was about to grab my bass resting on an amp, there was a sharp pain that migrated from my chest up to my head, a stabbing sensation that plagued me like a broken record player repeating the same word repeatedly but in this case, a terrible headache. I knew that I couldn’t go on to perform without messing up a riff or two so I had excused myself for a moment and asked a crew member for some aspirin. 

She handed me a small cup filled with water and a white chalky tablet that was supposed to lessen this horrendous headache that I was more than willing to part ways with. The moment the cool liquid hit my stomach, my worries were slightly alleviated yet I couldn’t help but think that the pain would worsen. My rationality was quelled by my terrified and wretched state to actually think clearly, terrified that I would have to perform in front of this many spectators who will have a front row seat to watch with sharp eyes if I were to fail.

I was certain that I would be holding everyone back by standing around like I’m sort of idiot so I hastily made my way to the stage, my bass in hand. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and ignored the growing throes, wanting to make haste so everything will be over with, the sooner the better.

The moment I stepped forward, I felt my heart beating incredibly rapid at the sight of thousands of people who were present, loudly shouting and cheering. The fluorescent lights hung above us tied in the whole surrealistic situation with how it made everything seem like a psychedelic trip mixed with various emotions that cancelled each other out. At this moment, I had hoped that the drugs would kick in soon so I wouldn’t have to suffer throughout our whole show, knowing full well that it would take at least a couple of hours for the effects to truly kick in.

“Hello everybody!” Brian addressed the roaring crowds enthusiastically. “How are we doing tonight?” He asked, receiving a warm welcome from them. As I took my place in the front right spot beside Roger’s drum kit while he began warming up by playing a small rhythm, Freddie finally got onstage wearing his designer white batwing shirt that appeared to have made his appearance similar to that of an angel’s wings with how the fabric fell and appeared similar to a never ending waterfall of white draperies. He took his place over on his black piano, sitting on his black bench before looking over in my direction, a displeased expression all over his face.

“We’re going to have a wonderful time tonight! So let us start tonight by playing our song called Killer Queen played by our wonderful Mr.Mercury!” Brian stated, diverting the crowd’s attention towards him. His attention was no longer on me and was now on his black and white instrument.

“Alright, let’s start off with this little number, my lovies.” He addressed them through the microphone attached to his piano before his fingers glided across the monochromatic instrument, playing a few notes that created a pleasant harmony. He started to sing the lyrics to the song and the crowd joined in by clapping and cheering him on, Roger and Brian playing their respective part and mine came soon after.

I looked down at my bass only to realise that an odd feeling would occur to me whenever I tilted my head downwards at a certain angle, making the only option for me being to have to face the crowd and rely on my muscle memory to go on with the performance. I ignored the stabbing sensation as much as I could and went on with the show for I couldn’t bear to let them down with my incompetence. We performed more songs from our Sheer Heart Attack and debut album before finally reaching a particular song that would normally be a song I enjoyed performing but now dreaded to play, Liar.

At this point, the pain had started to become unbearable but it wasn’t enough to deter me from exiting the stage and even if it did, I couldn’t go through all that. The psychedelic and eccentric light fixtures above us shifted colours from a bright and strong red to a dark blue that made everything make me feel as though the entire situation was even more bizarre than it already is. My legs started to feel as if they were going to give up on me at any given point in time, if I hadn’t caught myself in time, I would’ve lost my balance and toppled over.

We were halfway through Liar when Freddie came over in my direction from the other side of the stage and leaned over to my side, his fingers playing around with the half microphone stand he would always perform with whenever he’s singing. I was incredibly confused as to what on earth he was doing, worried that he must’ve noticed what was going on with me and could also explain why he was so close to me but not the suggestive movements he would do. I had no time to think about what he was doing and had to direct all my focus to my complex bass solo.

I faced the massive ocean of people in front of me whilst feeling a cold sweat trickle down my back, feeling my hands quiver yet again. I took a deep breath and let my fingers glide down the neck of my bass and my other fingers pluck each metal string, sucking in the agony growing inside my head and closed my eyes shut. All I had for me to rely on was my hearing and memory though it was difficult considering the noise that was blasting from all directions. I thanked all the heavens and stars above for I hadn’t messed up a single note, much to my surprise.

It was nearing the end of our concert where the ache started to fade into a dull throb and recede. I had thought that it was the end of the ordeal and felt marginally relieved, only for it to escalate and come back twice as powerful faster than I could blink. The lights were dimmed in preparation for Brian’s guitar solo which would later be followed up by Roger’s drum solo, giving me the perfect window of opportunity to escape all this hell on earth.

Without thinking much about anything else, I placed my bass down roughly and bolted out of the dais and staggered towards the back exit. I didn’t care about the confused stares I had received from everyone backstage and ran towards wherever my legs could take me to, no matter the destination. I could care less about where I was headed but all I was focused on was to escape this venue and to get as far as I could. I felt a hand on my arm, looking back to find the crew member who I asked the aspirin from, an alarmed expression on her face.

“John, is everything alright? Why are you here?” She asked me in a soft voice as though she was concerned. With every noise from each person that surrounded me, booming inside my head like a loud thunderous roar, the writhing sensation would make me wince.

“I need to flag a taxi.” I pleaded as my vision suddenly obscured with warmth surrounding the corners of my eyes, tears spilling out of them the moment I looked down and blinked.

“Why would you need one? The show’s not over yet.” She enquired.

“Please, I don’t have that much time left.” I said through my wretched state, hoping that she wouldn’t press any further. There was a short-lived silence that fell between us before she nodded her head and mouthed an ‘okay’.

“Alright then. What do I tell the others as to why you left?”

“That I-I’m back at the hotel.” I managed to say before rushing outside into the busy streets filled with fluorescent neon lights that could be seen throughout every turn I took, standing out from the dark night skies. I managed to flag down a taxi and requested to be driven back to my hotel in order to recover and perhaps guzzle down all of the backup pills I had always brought with me for safety measures. I told the driver the destination I wanted to head towards and took a moment to collect myself to not faint at the back of a taxicab.

At the backseat of the black vehicle, I crouched down and hugged my legs tight, shutting everything out to try to lessen the splitting headache tormenting my very being. I couldn’t contain the tears I had been holding back and let everything out like a levee that broke trying to contain a heavy monsoon. I knew that it was a disgrace for a grown man to be crying on his own behind the back seat of a taxicab so I had tried to make it as silent as possible, with some sniffles here and there.

Throughout the ride there, the driver didn’t once engage in a conversation with me, something I am thankful for along with his indifferent attitude towards me though I am certain that this is just his normal attitude towards his normal patrons. I lifted my head up and felt relieved at the sight of a familiar landscape despite the initial fear of being gawked at by anybody who may recognise me inside the large building. The moment he drove towards the entrance of the hotel, I quickly gave him whatever bill I had on hand and bolted towards the doors.

“Hey sir, you overpaid me!” He yelled at me through the open driver’s window.

“Just keep the change!” I yelled back before making my way towards the main hall where much to my dismay, was filled with crowds of people. I kept my head low and silently walked at a faster pace towards the lift, trying to keep a low profile despite receiving odd stares that I could feel burn into me coming from all sorts of directions. Once the lift doors were opened, I treaded through the crowd of people leaving it and pressed my floor number as quickly as I could to rush the doors’ closure.

Once they were shut, I let out a shaky exhale while I felt my legs giving up on me the moment it started ascending. I couldn’t control my motions yet again, my hands now trembling more than they previously were. The tears came rolling down to my cheeks yet again and I resorted to crouching down and clutching my knees tight with my head in between them. I could hear my heartbeats as they reverberated inside my already writhing head, surprising me with how resilient I was in keeping my sanity.

The moment the doors opened to my designated floor, I got myself up and dashed towards my room located at the end of the hallway harbouring a seemingly infinite number of rooms. My lungs started to hurt terribly to the extent of them flaring up the moment I had to take in some air before I passed out but I had to tread towards my room. I couldn’t afford to be rendered unconscious when I know that this ‘illness’ of mine will take my life when I lose all control of my body.

The distance between the door and me was starting to close in and I hurriedly extended my arms to open the door handle only to find that it had been locked. My mind was clouded and so I wasn’t exactly in my right mind when I had repeatedly tried to open the door and letting out a sob when it wouldn’t unlock. Realising that whatever I did wouldn’t change anything, I reached my hand towards the pocket of my trousers and grabbed the keys and prompted to place the proper key inside the lock. I held my hand steady with my other arm and finally succeeded in unlocking the wooden door in front of me.

I took a sharp inhale and rushed inside the room, slamming the door shut before rushing towards my bathroom. I hastily opened the medical cabinet beside the sink and saw nothing but an empty shelf. At that moment, it feels as though time had stopped completely for me while my heart sank to my stomach as a cold sweat started to trickle down my back.

“N-NO, IT COULDN’T BE!” I shrieked in panic of not seeing the container I had placed inside the cabinet earlier this morning. I began to search the entire bathroom with hopes that it had just fallen off and landed somewhere inside the room. I crouched down and rummaged through each crevice, making sure that I gloss over each corner well. My search had no results and I ran towards my bedroom, flipping over the duvet and pillows until what was left of my bed was only its mattress while its other components are scattered all over the carpet flooring.

I rushed towards my suitcase, tossing all of my clothes aside with worry that I had never gotten it out of my bag but alas, it was nowhere to be found. My legs gave out on me and I fell on my knees, despair was the only word accurate enough to describe what I was feeling. It was as though the gods had decided the pain inflicted on me wasn’t enough so they collectively decided on playing a cruel joke on me.

Out of the blue, the ringing sound of the telephone echoed throughout the silent room, frightening me in the process. I had no intentions of conversing with anyone on the other side of the call but I couldn’t stand the persistent noise that keeps on blaring so I staggered towards it before picking up the receiver and placing it close to my ear, wanting to get this over with.

“H-Hello?” I shakily said before falling on my knees yet again, drained of all my energy from battling the ever growing torture.

“Mr.Deacon, this is the front desk calling in. You have a visitor.” A woman said in a sickeningly cheerful tone.

“N-Name.” I stuttered, sounding sterner than I had liked it to be whilst swallowing in the lump that had formed inside my throat painfully, hoping that she understood what I had meant. My grip on the receiver started to loosen due to my uncontrollable tremor so my left hand clutched the other tightly to keep it steady. There was an eerie taciturnity that fell between us but was soon alleviated when I heard whispers from the other side followed by the receptionist’s voice.

“He says his name is Paul Prenter, sir.” She answered, making my heart do somersaults at the relief of hearing his name gives me. I couldn’t care less as to how he could’ve known where I was, as long as he’s here, he must’ve have some pills with him.

“S-Send him to m-my room.” I told her before placing the receiver back in its place, leaning my back against the cold walls and exhaling a shaky breath.

Slowly but surely, I could feel my fingers dig into my scalp with how tight I was clutching it, blood was surely going to be drawn sooner or later. The tears started to run down yet again at the writhing sensation inside my head while each bloody second that passed by felt like an eternity. Everything around me started to darken with black spots and stars starting to form from the corners of my eyes, gasping for air through my mangled sobs. I thought that there was no way that Paul would reach my room in time before I collapsed, not before the world darkened in front of my very eyes. That is, until I heard a knock on the door.

“John, are you in there?” He asked in an alarmed tone, repeatedly knocking on my door.

“P-PAUL! HELP!” I managed to yell out before he barged into my room and rushed to my aid.

“Oh no, Johnny boy, what happened?” He kneeled in front of me and held my face, wiping the tears away from my face.

“M-my head, it hurts badly.” I leaned over to him and clutched him tight, crying over on his shoulder while I tried to hide my face over on the nook of his neck.

“Hush now my boy, did you forget to take your pills?” He inquired in a gentle voice, stroking my back in an attempt to calm me down.

“T-They’re gone!” I responded while inhaling sharply to get some air into my throat.

“What do you mean they’re gone? You always have them with you at all times.”

“I-I don’t know! P-Please, Paul, give me more.” I begged, ignoring how desperate I sounded.

“That’s not how you ask me for something, John. Ask nicely for me.” He told me in a taunting manner, overlooking my pleas.

“PAUL, PLEASE!” I howled and was practically grovelling on my knees in front of him. He raised my head and held my face in position, caressing my cheek with the other while his thumb slid across my lower lip. I was willing to do anything he wanted me to do, as long as I could get my hands on those pills.

“No.” He coldly stated before retracting his hand, standing up so he was towering over me. I looked up to him and moved back, thinking that he wasn’t his usual self.

“W-What?”

“You haven’t learned your lesson yet.” He told me and turned his back against me before pacing away from me and towards the exit.

“I don’t know what you mean, Paul. Please, help me.” I stood up to meet him, grabbing his hands and forced him to look me in the eye, his gaze no longer retaining the warmth his brown eyes would hold.

“You insist to not knowing? What a joke. It appears that I have to leave you be to suffer.” He shrugged my grasp on him off, turning his back once again.

“HAVEN’T I SUFFERED ENOUGH?!” I bellowed while the tears obscured my vision yet again. The moment I realised what I had done, I covered my mouth with my hands and felt all the colour drain from my face, looking up to face him. The grim expression he had on his face made me shudder and fear for my life, how his eyes darkened in an instant and looked like he is out for blood, my blood.

“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to-” I asked for forgiveness while he paced closer in my direction and clenched my throat, cutting off my apology. He held me against a wall, cutting off all of my escape routes.

“You dare raise your voice against me?! Who do you think I am?!” He shouted as I attempted to gasp for some air the moment his grip started to tighten whilst I struggled to break free, his eyes now filled with rage.

“P-Paul, w-why?” I questioned while coughing my lungs out, my voice almost inaudible due to the constriction of my airflow.

“Why? Why?! You dare ask me why?!” He raged and tightened his grip once more, causing me to see those black spots and stars yet again.

“I raised you like you were my own son, helped your family when your father died, and this is how you thank me!? I helped you by giving your pills and you dare to act like an insolent bitch!?” He said, tightening his hold on my neck with his other hand pushing against my throat. The tears had risen and rolled down my cheek while I felt incredibly lightheaded and my lungs flaring up from the lack of air.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have helped you after all, perhaps I should’ve let you and your family rot and die just like your father.” His gruesome words sliced through my heart and pained me more than any pain I have experienced thus far. “That’s right, he didn’t die from an accident. I murdered him. But this won’t be useful for you now that I’m going to kill you too.” He continued, while I was struggling to keep myself alive through the heartache and betrayal by the sudden revelation.

I couldn’t handle the immense pressure he was pushing against my throat and my body started to feel cold and numb, eyes no longer able to see anything but the growing darkness and sparks of light. It felt as though my head was going to explode with how I felt my blood vessels started to pulse rapidly against my skin. I let out a tear through my stinging eyes for I was helpless against him and then all of a sudden, reality came crashing down on me. It was the moment I realised that I was going to die.

With the last ounce of my power, I writhed against his grasp and desperately attempted to release myself to no avail. His strength overpowered mine drastically, I couldn’t hold a candle against him. It was the moment I dreaded, the moment where he had a satisfied look on his face as my vision quickly blurred into obscurity, satisfied that I was no longer a bother to him, satisfied that he wouldn’t have to see me anymore, satisfied that I was going to die in his own hands.

I couldn’t recall anything else except for his spiteful smile before I blacked out while the world around me grew cold, colder than ice, colder than anything I have experienced before and colder than how his words of betrayal and confession of my father’s murder felt. If anything, I regretted not telling Brian, Roger and Freddie one final goodbye and how much they truly meant to me despite the numerous fights we were in. My consciousness drifted off somewhere into the unknown.

???’s POV

Heat started to rise from the middle of my chest out of nowhere like a flower bud about to bloom in the middle of the thawing ice to signal the coming of spring. The warmth was not one of hell’s flames which was painful to the bone, rather, it was one similar to a mother’s warmth, pleasant and sought after in this cruel world of nothingness. I never thought that I could sense anything ever again, especially after my prolonged solitary confinement in a space full of darkness with no traces of light to speak of.

I could feel something tug against my arms and I wasn’t pleased. The odd sensation didn’t sit well with me with how forceful it was, almost as if it was trying to direct me towards a destination I wasn’t willing to go to. I distinguished a sense of something throbbing deep inside my chest, a device of some sort that keeps on pumping like a machine that knows no lethargy or rest. The new sensation was warm and terrifying for it had appeared out of the blue, no warning whatsoever.

From my confined space, a cold sensation travelled down my back at the sight of a small fracture that appeared from the walls surrounding me. Light started to shine inside, its rays hitting spots on the ground beneath me to show a terrain underneath my feet. I reached my hand towards it only for a loud, metallic sound to be produced, making this warmth inside my chest to drop in temperature before rising back up. I extended my arm yet again and that sound was there again. I looked down and saw these grey rings encircling my wrists, restricting my motion whenever I reached a certain distance for it was connected to a large chain.

The cold sensation on my wrists started to bother me with how it made them tingle whenever I tugged them, perhaps this is what pain feels like. The walls of darkness started to chip away the moment I kept wrenching towards it, reaching out for something unknown to me. The chains had limited how much I could pace forward towards the bright source so I kept on pulling on them, regardless of the pain it caused me on my skin, wanting to know what was ahead of me.

I let out a yell that reverberated throughout the prison while I kept on persisting to reach the light, ignoring the clanging sounds the chain would make as I pulled against it. I thought my wrists were going to fall off when out of the blue, the crack had become large enough for the light to engulf the entire space, my willpower being the thing that broke me free from the metallic chains. I rushed towards the glow and unknowingly, I was free. I opened my eyes and realised that I was no longer inside that space but was now inside a darkened space I had no knowledge of, that is, until my head started to hurt terribly while information started to flood my mind at a rapid pace.

“Impossible, why aren’t you dead?!” A person in front of me screamed out, his brown moustache being the most prominent feature of his face. His brown eyes appeared to be full of rage for unknown reason, how bizarre.

“Excuse me? Dead? There is no way I am dead erm, whoever you might be. I’ve only gotten here after all.” I stated, trying to figure out a reason as to why he appeared so hostile towards me. Perhaps he understood that it was my first time meeting him, judging from his expression that shifted from surprised to an upset one.

“Who the hell are you?!” He questioned in a rude manner while his stance appeared to be defensive almost as if he was ready to do something unpredictable.

“Who am I? M-My name is John, John Richard Deacon, sir.” I told the stranger the name that first popped up inside my head, shrinking back at his unpleasant barks.

“No, you aren’t, you’re different. I killed you hours ago, I even made sure to plunge in a knife in you!” He angrily shouted, prompting me to look down and lo and behold, there was something protruding out of my chest area where warmth started to seep out of it. I pulled it out of my chest which prompted a somewhat hot flow towards my abdomen and noticed that it had been stained by this red hot liquid on its edge, how peculiar.

“Is this a knife? What’s this red liquid? It smells kind of funny.” I curiously asked him. It appeared that I have caught him off guard with my action for I saw all the colour drain out of his face the moment I showed it to him.

“Give it back!” He told me while his hand came and snatched it from my grasp.

“Where are we?” I looked around at my surroundings and asked, curious as to why there were tall walls beside us.

“None of your concern since I’ll make sure that you’re dead for good this time.” The man spitefully replied to my honest question, what a mean thing to do.

“D-Dead? But I’ve only arrived a few minutes ago! Surely we could compromise this situation, erm. Pardon me, what should I refer to you as, sir?” I requested, holding in the odd aching sensation that had been inside my head for quite some time.

“You dare forget about me!? Well since you’re going to die again, I’ll make sure you remember me well. My name is Paul Prenter, and you could refer to me as your murderer.” He responded and caught me off my guard when he lunged forward, a bloody knife in hand.

“Whoa there, Paul. There’s no need to act all rash, let’s just sit down and have a nice chat.” I ducked and took a metallic looking rod lying on the ground beside me, deflecting his attack before he could do some serious harm on me. The ear piercing sound of metal objects clashing wasn’t exactly music to my ears.

“Stop resisting and let me kill you! The sooner you give up, the better it is for the both of us.” He ordered, diving straight towards me while I protected my arm with the rod yet again.

“How is being dead better for me?” I asked in a joking manner, knowing that he probably was serious in killing me.

“Just shut your bloody mouth and die!” He shouted, cutting my skin deep enough for the red liquid to spurt and causing it to seep through my shirt. I pressed my hand against the wound and caught an odour of metal, a heavy and festering scent filling the air soon after.

For some odd reason, the scent had started to mess with my head, making me feel all sorts of things that I’ve never experienced before. It started to make me feel incredibly dazed and made my surroundings all hazy as though it was all just a fever dream. The redness of the metallic liquid had awoken something deep inside of me, something that had compelled me to want to see him gone from my sight through whatever means. It was as though everything started to click together when I realised, I was in danger.

His movements had become rather sluggish and slow, his lethargy starting to show through his bravado. I recognised a boiling sensation inside my chest that had spread throughout my body, giving me an unknown power that induced me to feel incredibly energised. It truly felt as though the chains that had previously confined me were no more, a liberating feeling that I had not felt in a long time, longer than I could recall.

The tides had started to make a gradual shift and eventually, it was my turn to play the offensive side. I attacked him by swinging the rod rapidly in his direction, causing him to take a step back to dodge my strike. I lunged forward and swung the rod hard as if I was about to hit a home run on an American baseball and fortunately for me, the rod was long enough to actually hit him on his arm. Though the impact made him flinch, he still had a firm grip on his knife.

I don’t know the exact reason for it, but I had a growing urge to harm him more than I already did. My breath started to become heavier and unstable as though something was weighing me down and I couldn’t break free from it. I didn’t realise that I had been spacing out until he had socked me in the lower jaw with his brute punch, making me fall to the ground below and my lower lip stinging with pain. The skies started to spin and without me realising, he had already started to land a few blows on my body.

As I was trying to defend myself, the taste of the metallic liquid started to spread throughout my mouth and it was as though things started to fit together like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle, I realised what word I was looking for to describe this odd taste, blood.

I felt something snap inside of me the moment blood was drawn, causing me to feel a growing unpleasantness towards him. If anything, unpleasant was only scratching the surface on how much I disliked him. It was as though everything that had been shrouding my eyes had been removed and now, everything was as clear as noon on a hot summer day. I finally let go of all the politeness I had tried to keep up and just let red take over.

“Fuck!” He yelled after I had retaliated with the rod, hitting his hand to the point where I heard something crack, his blade now on the ground. His face was beet red with anger and his left hand clutched his other tightly as his fingers bent at an odd angle.

“That’s for stabbing me you fucking prick.” I told him in a menacing tone, glaring at him with disgust before taking a stride, swinging the rod towards his face and striking him like a home run. This apparently enough for him to be knocked off his feet and shatter his ‘holier than thou’ attitude towards me. Of course, I gave him no chance to react and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, giving him a mean punch in the face hard enough that I could felt a stinging pain on my knuckles.

Out of the blue, he somehow had enough strength to get right back up and went towards my throat, grabbing it and slamming me against the brick wall. It didn’t take much for him to cause a burning sensation on my neck which made me deflect his grasp on impulse by kicking him away. He lost his balance soon after and fell back, my throat scorching like a blue flame the moment I tried to take in air.

This didn’t exactly sit well with my flared up lungs which prompted me to have a terribly painful cough. I held my stomach tight and covered my mouth with the other and once the fit was over, I felt something warm and damp on my fingers. The moment I moved my hand away from my mouth, blood was everywhere and was threatening to spill out of the crevices between each finger. I was too focused on wanting to know why I was coughing up blood to realise that Paul had escaped somewhere, leaving behind an odd green smoke behind that slowly dispersed into the air.

Though I was supposed to be relieved that he was no longer here to threaten my life, I felt the throbbing pain all over my body that I never guessed would affect me this way. I discarded the metal rod by throwing it back at the pile of junk behind me and made my way towards another area, blood on my garments. The combination of dark skies and cold winds made me shudder at the feeling that the temperature wasn’t exactly the optimal temperature for someone who is trying to keep their blood from flowing out of their wounds.

The moment I began walking on the streets while trying to conceal the growing red stain, my surroundings started to become very drastic from the emptiness of the cramped space I was in previously. I discerned that the people had been staring at me throughout my stroll, looking at me as though I was a caged animal that had been released and was out to hunt. Though I could feel their stares burn through the back of my head, not a single soul bothered to approach me, something I was grateful for.

I was walking aimlessly, confused as to where to head towards for this was the first time I’ve been here. The only thing I know was that I needed a place for me to lie down and rest, perhaps a change of clothing if I could find some. My head started to make everything seem as though the world around me had started to spin incredibly rapid and it wasn’t a pleasant one either. I reached another space where there weren’t any signs of life whatsoever and leaned my back against the wall, looking up to the sky and exhaling a shaky breath which was followed by another bloody cough.

The blood wouldn’t stop flowing out of my wounds and though I felt no pain, I knew that it wasn’t the right time to be standing around in the middle of an unknown area like this. Previous to having the chance to get some help in treating these open wounds, I let out an incredibly painful cough that made me feel as though my insides were smouldering me from the inside out.

Blood was flowing at a rapid pace and my entire hands were covered with it from applying pressure to the laceration. I wasn’t aware of the full extent of the damage I had sustained but I am certain that it must’ve been enough for my body to completely shut down. My eyes started to grow heavy with my eyelids refusing to open up to let me continue. No longer able to support my own weight, I collapsed on the ground below and felt its impact with my body, resulting in my loss of consciousness.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this one, most likely my pent up anger because of my inability to be physically angry but oh well.


End file.
